State motto: "Do not drive into smoke".

(The first sign you see once past the state line. Like only Oklahomans are too stupid to drive INTO a cloud?)

And get this, all the street lights at all the rest areas for some reason look like they have scoliosis...
& Oklahoma has more Society for Creative Anchronism members per capita than ANY place I have ever been...

Okie 1: gee I'm bored. What is there to do in Oklahoma besides drink beer, read comic books and fuck?
Okie 2: I KNOW: Let's play Robin Hood...!!!!
I really think people actually HAVE conversations like this there...

The original manuscript for this chapter was written in the early '90s before the twin patriots day (April 19) events of "Waco" and Oklahoma City (incidentally April 19 was the date the first shot was fired in the FIRST revolutionary war).
So it may be a little creepy...

REAL TRUE FACT: an ex-girlfriend of mine who I affectionately refer to as "Z bitch from hell" (insensitive on my part, I didn't know she was a librium kid) has a crazy uncle that occassionally sent her bombs in the mail to her parents house in Norman...
Well both of her parents worked for the social security administration in OKC, so a coupla yrs. ago at the FBI/ATT/SS builiding *ka-boom*. To this day I wonder if the uncle is involved...
but enough about me.

Even after disaster OK's still reasonably friendly and you can walk on any interstate that isn't tolled...
You will see a LOT of cops on the road in mid-July for an annual training operation called "OPERATION CROSSROAD".
Every police department along I-70 and I-35 puts every police vehicle they can find on the street for 72 hrs. Expect to have a conversation w/at least one of them...
But according to the one I talked to 'If you aren't wanted you have every right under Oklahoma law to use every non-toll rd in the state'...
OKLAHOMA STATE POLICE OFFICER QOUTE (Qouted by at least 3 that I have talked to...)

Good spots to stand:
I-35 the Love's truck stop in Pauls Valley (about 45 miles south of okc).
The first exit north of the Red River.
The last Gainesvile, TX exit...(California st. area).

An important note - Oklahoma City is the largest square-mile incorporated city in the US & the bus doesn't serve the whole town & they do have their fair share of closet cases...
So expect to walk a bit and keep your guard up, ok...

For north bound transit go to Hefner rd (take the bus up past Remington Park Racetrack - if you explain to the driver what you are trying to do most of them will steer you right).
Bus fare is only $1.00 (which is a li'l hard to come by in okc...)
BUT on ozone alert (pollution) days it's FREE! (mostly in April & August).
Then walk up to the I-35/44 junction (about 3-4 miles) and go in the direction you need to if Tulsa, just stand there by the intersection you'll be ok - stay out of the way of traffic...

Oklahomans are odd in that they NEVER ask for gas money RAH RAH RAH!
Incidentally, the Petro truck stop downtown is a beat scene so don't waste energy trying to hitch out, just take a bus...

Goin' west any exit past the Outback steakhouse on I-40 is good.
For west to Missouri or north to Coffeyvile, KS both have good ramps near the Tulsa airport - and a LOT of people who work assocaited w/aviation in Tulsa live in ne okc so 's pretty easy to get to...
Check out "THE WORLD"S LARGEST McDONALD'S" OVER I-44 (+ they still have dr.pepper...)

And oh yeah get this:
South on I-35 go to 'Shields Blvd' and check out the 7-11 there - $1.00 sandwiches & dr.pepper SLURPEES! wow!

There are also a lot of under 20 dollar motels thru out the south side of okc (north of the traffic loop), but who has that kinda money in oklahoma?
Answer: THE guy who gave me a ride from Tulsa to Coffeyville, KS (he won the KS lottery - 50 grand on a scratchoff ticket), he had also went to Woodstock at age 9 by HIMSELF!
He bought Subway too, what a guy!

Other people who have picked me up hitchiking from Tulsa to Coffeyville.
The first black police officer hired in Tulsa ,OK (retired) who was given the opportunity to become the first black state trooper but turned it down for family reasons.
And get this:
MY own bother on super bowl saturday!
(really)

Killer Tulsa place to eat on sunday "Pancho's Mexican Buffet" (near the Coffeyville turnoff in the free part of I-44). 7-8 dollars including tip & dr.pepper. Goes great w/a Tulsa World sunday funnies...

Coolness
25-10 for "tbfh" =15
avg crossing time: if it takes you more than a 12 hrs in any direction you're doing something wrong...
Around 1989 near a town called Henryetta on I-40 a fellow picked me up and started bragging on his nephew who had just got a football scholarship.
Me: oh really what position?
Him: q-back & he's GOOD too, the Dallas Cowboys have been scouting him..boy you mark my words a kid from Oklahoma is gonna win the super bowl and his name is gonna be "Troy Aikman". He's my nephew.
Me: yeah, I've heard of him...
Short silence then - ya wanna pop?
Dropped me off and went on his way...