State Motto: 'land of 10,000 jerks'

Or 'uff-da' (or is that Wisconsin?)

Minnesota is really dualistic:
sometimes you get THE SALT OF THE EARTH,
other times you get THE SALT IN THE WOUND.

Example of # 2 above: the State Trooper I met who carries pebbles in his ashtray to throw at motorcylists and hitchikers - (really).

A PLACE YOU GOTTA GO: (on tuesday nite cuz that's when you can ride everything for one price ($8.00)) Knott's Berry Farm's 'CAMP SNOOPY' in the basement of the 'Mall of America' in the suburb of Bloomington on Minneapolis's southeast side.
And oh yeah, when you buy your wristband you get a coupon for a FREE hotdog at the concession stand (Hormel of course), and the dr.pepper isn't overpriced...
MY favorite amusement park for the above reasons and it's AIRCONDITIONED AND SKEETER-FREE!

Other things you gotta see in the MALL of AMERICA - the biggest mall in the world (like that's somethin to be proud of?):
LEGOLAND
HOOTERS (of course :)
The flags of the world store on the main floor - the guy in there looks JUST LIKE ADOLF HITLER! *HONEST*

Oh yeah, the important stuff:
If you go across on I-94 and get stuck in downtown Minneapolis, don't even waste time trying to hitch out 'til rush-hour, just go to the mplibrary and surf the net or read a book or somethin'.
Then, come rush-hour, take the #94 bus to a suburb called "Maple Grove".
This will cost you a days time and 2 bux but you'd NEVER get out of the neighborhood anyhoo, and it's not only illegal to walk on the interstate in Minnesota; IT'S DANGEROUS IN TWIN CITIES AREA - NO SHOULDER ON ROAD 'TIL RURAL AREAS...
Plus dwntwn Mpls is a skeevy neighborhood and every body is paranoid...(St. Paul is a little better...)

Once you're in Maple Grove or points west you can take your chances on the hiway - you should get a ride before you see a cop (p.s their cars are RED).
But you'll see a LOT of Maple Grove cops, so you're safer out on the interstate...(what I usually do is buy a newspaper and read it on the ramp and if I haven't got a ride by the time I finish the paper - I go ahead and chance the hiway.
States like Minnesota and Ohio and Pennsylvania that are both predominately rural and low traffic that also prohibit pedestrians on the interstate are excellent examples of where a hand-held cb is a good idea - it's saved my ass 3 times in Ohio - but that's another chapter...

As for east/westbound travel - I recommend I-90, you bypass twin cities that way.
N-S - I don't always recommend this but w/twin cities TAKE THE TRAFFIC LOOP AROUND TOWN- YOU WON"T REGRET IT AND YOU WILL SAVE YOURSELF HOURS!!!!! (do not use main I-35 (e or w) unless you HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!!)

BIG PLACES: METRODOME dwntwn Mpls.
LOCAL FLAVOR: Old Dutch tater chips - ketchup flavor!
& Superamerica gas stations - homemade cookies and 44oz dr.peppers.

GOOFY FACT: Minnesota raises more turkeys than anywhere else - expect a ride w/a turkey farmer or two.
My favorite was the one who seemed normal enough until he started talking about communist reds invading his bathroom and putting weird chemicals in his milk--oh well, he bought me lunch at TacoJohn's...(surprisingly hot hot sauce for white people...) and of course refillable dr.peppers...

AVG CROSSING TIMES: e-w I-90 8-12-20 hrs depending on what time of day you start - the shortest fastest trips seem to start best around 9 am...
-94 day and a half no ?uestion about it...
n-s beats the hell outa me but it takes about 6 hrs to get from Des Moines, Ia to mpls...
COOLNESS FACTOR "50" out of a possible 100

Slow down bwah, we goiun to Mississipi - di I spell that right...????

Write to Legendary Rob.